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+--- Thread: Warren Buffett Maxes Out Credit Cards to Buy Jake Paul YouTube Premium NFT, Calls It (/Thread-Warren-Buffett-Maxes-Out-Credit-Cards-to-Buy-Jake-Paul-YouTube-Premium-NFT-Calls-It)
Warren Buffett Maxes Out Credit Cards to Buy Jake Paul YouTube Premium NFT, Calls It - admin - 12-15-2024
Warren Buffett Maxes Out Credit Cards to Buy Jake Paul YouTube Premium NFT, Calls It “The Investment of the Millennium”
OMAHA, NE—The financial world was rocked today after Warren Buffett, the 93-year-old “Oracle of Omaha” and literal inventor of not spending money, revealed he has maxed out his credit cards to buy the Jake Paul YouTube Premium NFT, which he’s calling "the greatest asset since the invention of bread."
The NFT in question, titled *Jake Paul’s Post-Taco Bell Burp #69*, is a digitally immortalized clip of Jake Paul belching while attempting to say “subscribe.” Experts describe it as “a truly groundbreaking cultural artifact,” while Buffett’s longtime business partner Charlie Munger described it as “the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen—and I’ve lived through six world wars.”
Buffett reportedly bought the NFT for $420,069 plus $69,000 in “gas fees” because, as he explained in a tweet, “I heard gas is expensive these days, so it must be valuable.”
Buffett Declares NFTs the Future
Buffett, who still uses a rotary phone and once thought Wi-Fi was a fancy dessert, defended his decision. “People laughed at me when I bought Coca-Cola stock,” he told reporters at a hastily arranged press conference held at a Golden Corral buffet. “But now look where we are: the cola market is worth billions. And now? Now, I own a Jake Paul burp. You connect the dots.”
Financial analysts are struggling to “connect the dots,” though one explained it like this: “Buffett usually buys stuff people will need forever, like energy or food. Apparently, he thinks we’ll need Jake Paul burps forever. Honestly? He might be right.”
Charlie Munger Loses It
Buffett’s business partner and professional curmudgeon Charlie Munger did not hold back. “I knew Warren was losing his edge when he started putting ketchup on his steaks,” said Munger, shaking his head in disbelief. “But maxing out a Visa card for *this*? It’s like paying a million dollars for a fart in a Ziploc bag.”
Sources close to Munger say he’s been Googling “how to legally divorce your business partner.”
Jake Paul Responds
Jake Paul, who minted the NFT after what he described as “a spiritual Taco Tuesday,” couldn’t believe his good fortune. “Yo, shoutout to Warren for dropping that mad cheddar,” Paul said in a TikTok video while standing on a jet ski inside his mansion. “This dude’s got more bread than Panera, and now he’s part of Burp Nation, baby! W to the Buffet man.”
The NFT’s value has already skyrocketed, with Paul teasing future drops, including *Jake Paul’s Iconic Scratch-and-Sniff Socks NFT* and *Logan Paul’s “Oops, I Forgot to Press Record” Boxing Match NFT*.
Buffett's Credit Card Drama
Despite having a net worth of $120 billion, Buffett apparently ran into trouble at checkout. “I didn’t know Jake Paul only accepts Dogecoin,” Buffett confessed, holding up his Discover card in shame. “I had to sign up for three new credit cards just to cover the gas fees. I guess this is what they mean by diversifying your portfolio.”
Buffett was later spotted at a Wells Fargo branch trying to refinance his house to pay off his new NFT collection, which reportedly also includes *Paris Hilton’s First Metaverse Selfie* and *MrBeast’s "100,000 Ping-Pong Balls for No Reason" Video Soundtrack*.
Wall Street Reacts
Wall Street’s response has been a mix of shock, confusion, and unbridled panic. Jim Cramer called the move “bold,” adding, “This is the kind of innovation that makes America great—or bankrupt.” Meanwhile, Bitcoin evangelist Elon Musk tweeted, “Warren gets it. Burps are just pre-laughs. Laughs are universal currency. To the moon. ?”
Even Reddit is divided, with one user on r/CryptoBros saying, “This proves NFTs are legit. Buffett’s in,” while another replied, “He’s 93. He probably thought he was buying actual art.”
Buffett Stands By His Decision
Buffett, however, remains unfazed by the backlash. “When people look back in 100 years, they won’t remember my investments in railroads or insurance,” he said, standing in line at an Arby’s for a $2 roast beef sandwich. “They’ll remember me as the guy who secured humanity’s digital legacy—one Jake Paul burp at a time.”
He then leaned into the microphone and whispered, “Plus, I got the one with the reverb. That’s the rare one.”
As Buffett left the press conference, reporters asked if he had any regrets. “Yeah,” he said, staring wistfully into the distance. “I should’ve bought the Logan Paul NFT where he sneezes during a backflip. Now *that’s* intrinsic value.”
Buffett is reportedly planning to attend next week’s “BurpCon 2024,” where Jake Paul will perform a live minting of *Burp #420* after eating three Chipotle burritos. Tickets are sold out, but Buffett assured fans he’ll be there, paying for entry with his newly launched cryptocurrency: *BuffettBucks*.